Extra ell

After many many days I happen to buy The Times of India today. I don't know why I purchased it. I have stopped reading/purchasing it long long time ago. For some reasons I hate this paper. In today's paper, among its numerous supplements, there is a supplment which is `complementary' for the readers of Ulhasngar, Kalyan Mulund and Chembur: Cheti Chand Jo Melo (Festival of Cheti Chand, Sindhi New Year). But the Cheti Chand was yesterday, and the supplment is being given today! Well, anyway the supplement has a article by Mr Sanjay B. Jumaani, who is a numerologist. He suggest that it will be better for Ulhasnagar if it was renamed as `Ullhasnagar', that is an extra ell should be added to it. According to Mr Jumaaani (I have added an extra `eh' to his name for his very good suggestion, and also to bring good luck to him), extra ell will bring, peace and harmony, along with wealth, which Ulhasnagar already has, and will also keep the citizens of Ulhasnagar united, ensuring unbound prosperity. Thank you Mr Jumaaani. Leaders of Ulhasnagar, opps Ullhasnagar, act on the this suggestion, pronto.

More Ogden Nash

During this month, I was forced to visit a dentist, nor for me, thankfully, but for my son's dental problem. We have to wait and wait until our turns comes. Is there any other place in the world which is more depressing than the waiting room of a dentist? In the good old days, the waiting room used to have old copies of Women's Era or such magazines. Nowdays they seems to have been improved, I mean the waiting rooms, to having a colour televisions.

I was curious to see if good old Ogen Nash has written something about dentist. And he has! The peoem is titled `This is going to hurt just a little bit'. Ogden is really a genuis. As usual, this peom is also still under copy right so I could not quote the whole poem, but very funny lines are:

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.

................

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on

And it is cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve on your head that aren't being irked on.

...............

And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition is so that he won't have to go the dentist.

Our next appointment is on April 17. I will take copies of this poem along with me and give one copy each to the unforutnate people waiting for their teeth to be worked on!

A critic learns to draw

A critic learns to draw and finds that it is not as easy as it looks.

Why India fell for the code of Wodehouse

This article in the Times tries to explain why P.G. Wodehouse is still very popular in India.

Google cartoon

Google managed to delete their own blog yesterday. Dave Walker has drawn this cartoon, inspired by this.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Doctors caught cheating at exam

Doctors caught cheating at exam ... Hey Bhagwan, kya hoga is desh ka!

Ogden Nash

Last week I renewed my friendship with Ogden Nash, who is best known for funny light verses. Example: Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker, Time Flies Like Arrow and Fruit Flies Like Bananna.

The following funny peom caught my eye: The Troble with Women is Men, which is written from the point of view of women. As this poems seems to be still under copy-right (search at Google drew a blank), I quote the first few lines and the very funny last few lines. I hope I will not be in trouble.

A husband is a men who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snorning like an overloaded omnibus.

Particularly on those occasions when between the humidity and the mosquitos your own bed is no longer a bed, but an insomnibus.

.....
.....

Such are husbandy foibles, but there are moments when a foible ceases to be a foible.

Next time you ask for a glass of water and when he brings it you have needle almost threaded and instead of setting it down he stands there holding it out to you, just kick him fairly hard in the stomach, you will find it throughly enjoible.

Isn't it very funny. I was just laughing when I was reading this, and consequently caught by my wife in the act. You just have to enjoy something and bingo your wife appears out of nowwhere. I had no option but to read aloud and explain the whole peom to her. I hope she overlooks the kick in the stomach part as she has the habit of requesting for a glass of water whenever she has almost threaded the needle.

Some of the funny poems of Ogden Nash are available here.

One flew over Lataji's nest

Mahrashtra Government proposes to build a flyover on one of the most congested and most fashionable road in the city of Mumbai -- Peddar Road. It seems the flyover will be passing next to balcony of residence of Lata Mangeshkar, who happens to live on the first floor of a building on the Peddar Road. It seems Lataji has written to the concerned minister threatening that she will have no option but to leave Mumbai and settle in Pune or in the interiors of Maharashtra. It seems many issues are being raised for this particular flyover -- an earthquake fault line running along Peddar Road, privacy of residents will be lost etc. etc. The government had built till date 55 flyovers in the Mumbai city, one come to know about their completion when they are inaugrated by the ministers or politicians. Were the concerns of residents taken into account at the time of building these flyovers? The Peddar Road flyover seems to be flying lot of dust even before the actual work has even begun. A few years ago, the longest flylover (of 2.4 k.m. length) in Mumbai was built over one the busiest roads Mohammad Ali Road and one does not heard of any protest from the residents of that road --- flyover was just few feets away from the home of the residents on that road. Now that flyover is complete and in good use, the residents of Mohammad Ali Road are happy about the flyover as it has improved the traffic situation in their area.

The only purpose of flyover is to reduce the travel time from point a to point b, and of course to reduce the traffic congestions.

Link to newsstory

Back now

Dear readers: I was away from my blog, and also from work, most of the last week, as I was down with conjunctivitis . Some bacteria or viruses decided to house themselves in my left eye. It was a blasted condition and one has to wait till the b. or v. decides to leave your eyes. I had to take leave from my office and to say bye bye to blogsphere for few days. These kinds of forced leave are in fact blessings in desguise. Thanks to these b. and v., I was unable to read (bad) or watch T.V. (which was good), I had no option but to listen to music. I renewed my friendship with many old songs, songs which I had not listened since long long time. I also discovered the other side and better side of FM radio stations --- in the day time they play songs sung by Himesh Reshamiya, which I am hating more and more, but in the late evenings and at night they play really good old songs.

Mumbai Test: India lose by 212 runs

Congratulations England. India, despite playing five bowlers, lose to England. What next. Good luck to India fo the one-day series. They really need all the good luck and support from crowd now that they will be without Sachin. And that reminds me, was Sachin injured before the Mumbai test, or he got injured during the test. We will never now. These things are not told to mere mortals like us. We can only speculate. Now that Sachin is out of action for 8 weeks, I wonder why the Indian selectors have not selected Sourav Ganguly who is fully fit and played in various domestic cricket recently.

While still on Sachin, I am maha amused to see what Mr Kiran More had to say: Chairman of selectors Kiran More, however, clarified that Tendulkar did not have any problem with his batting. "He is fully fit to bat and will have no difficulty in batting tomorrow (against England on the fifth day of the third Test)." I really believe Mr More, Sachin did made 34 runs in 57 balls with 5 fours!

Link to News Story: Indian lose Mumbai test

World of Psmith

Last weekend I found in my book collection, `The World of Psmith Omnibus' which is a collection of three Psmith novels -- Psmith in the City, Psimth Journalist and Leave it to Psmith. I think I had purhcased it few years ago and never read it. Very careless of me.

The P in his surname is silent, and was added by himself as he considers himself (with some justice) to be too remarkable to be a mere "Smith". Just like P in Psychology P is silent and not sounded. Needless to say, Psmith, like most of the Wodehouse characters is very funny. In my opinion, even funnier than Bertie. Wish Wodehouse had written more Psmith novels, than just three. Psmith also appears in few stories.

I have abondoned reading `Ladies Coupe', or rather booted out of it, and am now with Psmith for most of the time at home and while travelling. Have already finished Psmith in the City, which was very very funy. But I will not be writing review of it --- it should be read and enjoyed, and not merely reviewed. Psmith Journalist also seem to be funny and the action there takes place in New York, in U.S. of A. Leave ito to Psmith is famous of these three books and was also made in a Hindi T.V. serial, few years ago and the action in this book takes place in Blandings Castle, and, of course, Earl of Emsworth is very much around.

Wodehouse, I think, never wrote a Bertie-Jeeves story or novel, where Psmith also made an appearnace. I think that would have been too rich for us.

Tendulkar booed out at homeground

Really unthinkable ... Tendulkar booed out at homeground. Can we expect a century from Sachin in the 2nd innings to turn these boos to wah wahs!

Himesh Reshammiya

Let me tell you a silly joke. Someone visit his friend after long time and as they were taking of that and this and this and that, Mr someone spotted two trophies, one small one and another quite big one, in his friends's living room. Upon quizzing about the trophies, his friend somewhat reluctantly to told him that he got the small one for for singing in a competition and the big one is for promising to giving up the singing forever!

Mr Himesh Reshammiya who gives quite a decent music score in the hindi films, nowadays has decided to turn into a playback singer himself and is become quite prolific at it! He has recently released a non-filmi ablum of songs (Aap Ka Saroor), in which all songs, naturally, are sung by him. As I am listener to local FM radios while travelling, I have to listen to songs sung by Himesh Reshammiya which have become quite popular (Ashik Banaya Aapne, Aksar). And these songs are played quite regularly by the RJs. Once I heared the same songs at two different station being played almost simultaneously! I was amuzed when during the last film awards melas, most of the award for the playback singing (male) went to him for title song of Aashiq Banaya Aapne, including FilmFare, Zee Cine Awards, etc. I am sick of listening his songs, which are so so high pitched and all of them sound so so similar. Now that he has got the big trophy, could he leave the singing to the established singers, and leave us to enjoy the music.

Enough of rant. I think either a) I should stop listening to the FM radio or b) buy myself an IPod Nano or similar portable MP3. Sigh ...

Unbelievable Match

Australia : 434 for 4 in 50 overs

South Africa : 438 for 9 in 49.5 overs

Total Runs: 872

Unbelievable match. Match Scorecard . Match Report .

The Second Test

The second test of England v/s India started today. India is playing with five batsmen, five bowler and of course one wicketkeeper. Mr Greg Chappell is experimenting again. This means, as Yuvraj Singh is now fit and has been included in the team, V.V.S. Laxman and Mohammad Kaif have been dropped from the team. It is good to see two youngsters, Piyush Chawla and Munaf Patel, playing and making their debut. Good luck to both of them. My heart goes out to Kaif, who inspite of scoring good 91 runs in the first test , does not find a place in the team. Maybe he will have to wait for one of top players to get injured, which may take another four or five years, to find a place in the team again. Don't worry Kaif, you are number one in the queue, since Laxman, who scored a first ball duck in the first test, is now behind Kaif in the queue.

Sourov Ganguly has still hope of making it in the Indian team. Mr Sharad Pawar, President of BCCI, has said I do not believe that Sourav’s career is over by a long shot . Wish Mr Pawar was also Chairman of Selectors for the Indian team.

Yatras: BJP’s revival route

Yatras: BJP’s revival route

Oh yeah, elections in five states are round the corner. All the best, Mr L.K. Advani. Are you not tired of the Yatras Mr Advani?

International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day . Happy Women's Day to all. I came across this cartoon which I could not resist posting it here.

50th Post

This is my 50th post. I started blogging on Monday, December 19, 2005, after being inspired by Blog of Kusum Rohra. Kusum really bloggs well, but sadly she is on a blogging break presently, as she seems to have lost her jovial spririts. Hope she finds her jovial sprits soon and is back to blogging.

After visiting India, President George W. Bush went to Pakistan for a short visit. I was amused to see the following picture of Mr President in a newspaper -

Now who could have dared to bowl a bouncer to the most powerful person, who works so relentlessly for the world peace! Well according to The Spin, the bowler was Inzamam-ul-Haq, captain of the Pakistan Cricket team. I have never seen Inzamam bowling in a test or one-dayer. According to The Spin he has bowled nine deliveries in 107 Tests without taking a wicket, and in the first-class cricket he has taken 38 wickets. Well done Inzamam.

Terror in Temples

At least 20 killed in Varanasi blasts

Oh my god, it has happened again. The terrorist have again killed the innocent people. What has happened yesterday at Varanasi is shocking, outrageous and mindless. This should not happen in our country. Hope people in Varanasi and elsewhere keep their calm. The politiciants, epsecially those of BJP, VHP are already politicising this inhuman act. BJP is blaming the Centre for its soft policies and terming this act as attack on Hindus. It is really disgusting the way these people get into the act so quickly after any human tragedy. How can this act be an attack on Hindus, when the blasts have also occurred at the Varnasi railway station also.

Justice for Jessica

Jessica case: Fresh probe ordered

Succumbing to intense pressure from the public and the media, the Delhi Police on Monday announced setting up of a special investigation team to probe the Jessica Lall murder case all over again.

It is good that after intense public, media (both electronic and print), the Delhi Police has finally decided to act on the Jessica Lall murder case. Will the inquiry this time will be fair and fast? Only time will tell. I was amused to read that after his acquittal, Mr Manu Sharma, the main accused, and his father, who is a minister in Haryana Government, Mr Venod Sharma, had gone to Vaishno Devi. Well, the poor pepole think the god is on their side, but the rich people know the god is on their side.

Meanwhile the investigators in the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, in a car crash in 1997 may conclude that it was an accident, as per this article in The Guardian.

From Skipper to Spectator

Sourov Ganguly gets a ‘call’ for 2nd Test

For the second England - India Test, which starts, in Mohali from Thursday, March 7, the Punjab Cricket Association has invited Sourav Ganguly as one of the ex-caption of the Indian Cricket Team. It is funny that just a few months ago, Sourov was Caption of India, and no one thought that he will be out of Indian team so soon. That was, of course, before Greg Chappell was appointed coach of the Indian team.

The first test had ended in a draw, but full credit to the England team for performing well, inspite of absence of some of the key players. The team for the second test has been announced . Suresh Raina and Vikram Raj Vir Singh, who were selected for the first test, but did not play, have been dropped, and their place has been taken by Yuvraj Singh and Munaf Patel. I was amused to read the comments of Mr Kiran More, chairman of selectors, that Suresh Raina and V.R.V. Singh were included in the team to get them the feel of a test match. I wonder how they will get the feel of test match without playing one. Anyway, it is the practice in India to announce a team of 15 persons for a Test match and drop the two or three players after they have got a feel of a test match. I wonder why not India follows the example of Australia of announcing a team of 12 players for a test match two or three days before the match.

Greg Chappell does it again

Mr Greg Chappell has done it again. He has given an interview to Mike Selvey of The Guardian and among others things, this is what Mr Chappell has said about Sourov Ganguly:

"What I didn't realise at that stage was how utterly important to his life and finances being captain was."

Now this is just not cricket. Isn't Mr Chappell coaching Indian team for the financial reasons. Or he is doing it for the love of Indian team. His comments seems to me to be mischievous.

I don't understand why Mr Chappell is after Sourov. He has manage to remove Sourov from captaincy of the Indian team and from the Indian team. He should now concentrate on India being a team on par with Australia. BCCI has done right thing in warning Mr Chappell to concentrate only on the cricket. Hope Mr Chappell will do so in future.

His un-cricket like comments could have demoralising effect on the Indian players. Already India is struggling against England in the first test. I won't be surprised if India loses the first test.

Link to Mike Selvey's Interview with Greg Chappel and reactions of Mike Selvey after his interview was published in the media.

My two cents ...

Finished reading My Side of the Matter by Truman Capote, yesterday. It had four short stories -- Miriam, My Side of the Matter, Music for Chameleons and Mr Jones. Except for the first story, Miriam, I could not make much sense of other stories, they just went over my head.

Miriam is a story about Mrs. H.T. Miller who is living alone for several years, after death of her husband. She has no friends to speak of and she usually did not go further than the corner grocery store. One day, Mrs Miller had gone to see a movie where she happened to spot a strange looking girl of about ten or eleven years old, whose hairs were absolutely silver-white. She request Mrs Miller to buy the movie ticket for her. In the course of talking with her, Mrs Miller come to know that the name of the girl was Miriam, which was also the first name of Mrs Miller. After the movie, Mrs Miller forgot all about the girl. During a night on which it had snowed very heavily, Miriam pays a visit to Mrs Miller at her home. At first Mrs Miller is very surprised by her visit, and later she becomes very annoyed by the behaviour of Miriam. Miriam promises to go after Mrs Miller give her something to eat. After eating the sandwiches made by Mrs Miller, Miriam asks for cherries and almond cakes. After few days, Mrs Miller goes out for shopping and ends up buying cherries and almond cakes. On the same day, she is visited again by Miriam, who now has come with our cloths and dolls, and announces that she will be staying with Mrs Miller. Mrs Miller is by now very terrified and rushes out to her neighours for help. Her neigbours calms her down and go to lookout for Miriam in Mrs Miller's home. He returns after few minutes and says there is no one in Mrs Miller's home. When Mrs Miller returns to her home, she finds that Miriam is very much there.

Miriam had entered Mrs Miller house and mind, and she refuses to leave. It happens sometime with us that we are terrified or afraid of things or events, but most of them are only in our minds and just imaginary.

The next books I will be reading is Ladies Coupe by by Anita Nair. It is story of a woman's search for strength and independence .

Cricket Cricket

The Test series of India versus England starts today. India had just returned from Pakistan and now another series starts. Now the news channel will go on overdrive if India wins or some Indian player takes a hat trick. Forgotten will be the budget and poor Jassica Lall. It is sickening to watch a newsreader on our 24X7 news channel after reading out the headlines say, and broadly smiling, `But Cricket First'. I have yet to see them saying `But Hockey First' or `But Table Tennis First'.

It seems the players of England teams, whenever they visit India, face problems both personal and physical. At the rate at which the England players are returning home, for both personal and physical problems, it wont be surprising if they are captained by Mudhsuden Singh Panesar, who is known as Monty Panesar, in the third test.

BTW Amit Varma has fabricated some very funny jokes about Ponty Manesar which are here and here.