Calvin: Why isn't my life like this situation comedy?
Calvin: Why don't I have a bunch of friends
with nothing to do but drop by and
instigate wacky adventures?
Calvin: Why aren't my conversations peppered with
witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate
heartfelt concerns for my well-being when I have
Hobbes: Why don't you know any gorgeous babes?
Calvin: I gotta get my life some writers.